Wednesday, February 5, 2020

😎🐫🎤 Christ’s peace be with you.  In two weeks it will be one year that I’ve been at my job.  I’ve been told repeatedly, by multiple people that for those who are willing to stick it out, it will take about five years to become comfortable in this position.  It’s been extremely challenging for me, being that I feel like I’m not serving my customers as timely, completely, and confidently as I want to be able to serve them.  I don’t know, maybe deep down I figure the more hours I put in, the sooner I’ll get to the five year comfort level.  The problem is, I’m having a very hard time allowing myself to walk away from my work.  I work late almost every day.  I work at home at night.  I also work on the weekend.  My mental and physical wellbeing are out of balance.  I’m pretty sure that’s because I’m working instead of taking the time to go on hikes in nature and clear my mind.  It frustrates my husband.  My mother-in-law tells me I shouldn’t work so much.  “I know.  I know.”  I was talking with a friend about it Monday and it seemed like without hesitation she said “How do you reconcile that with God?”  Oh, that one hurt.  As so often the truth does, when we have chosen not to face it.  It’s sad to say, but it can be easy to blow off those around us, thinking they will always be there.  I feel better mentally, physically, and spiritually when I take the time to walk in nature.  And it also clears my head so that I can be more mentally available and present with those that I’m with.  The Holy Spirit and I have our greatest conversation in nature and I’ve really been missing that this past year, along with missing time with my husband, family, and friends. 

I don’t think anyone likes waking up all hours of the night and early morning thinking about all the work that still needs to be done.  I’m kind of feeling like a body that’s growing too quickly and ending up with some permanent stretch marks.  I need to give myself permission and allow myself to grow a little at a time, so that I’ll be more balanced, pliable, and won’t leave a trail of damage in my wake.  You may find yourself in a similar situation.  How can I allow myself to be filled with Him, if I’m always overflow with work?  I’ve decided that I need to free my mind of the pressure I’m putting on myself.  Regain the balance between my personal and work life.  And allow the Healer to be what fills my life, not work.  Bless others and be blessed.

#MercyMe – The Hurt and the Healer